Lived Xperience

For as long as I can remember, I have experienced trauma and hardship. I would often find myself thinking deeply about the unfair way life unfolds. We are at the mercy of everything around. We have some sense of control, but even that is very easily stripped from us by forces we are powerless to control. In those times, feeling so hopeless, I was met with the same notion every time. One day, this will be over. I’ll get over it, grow up, move on…. But I will use my story to make a difference. That’s the one thought that gave me comfort.

I heard the term “lived experience” just a few years ago. Upon learning the definition of the concept, I instantly thought, “oh! I have TONS of that!? Who wants mine?”

Well, I was sadden to learn that exactly no one, that’s who.

The fact of the matter here is that lived experiences are not fun or happy things. It is comprised of our most traumatic experiences.  These stories are hard to tell, and they are even harder to hear.

On two separate occasions, I held back much of the story, as I could see how much it was affecting the therapist I was in session with. I have never had much difficulty in discussing things I’ve been through. So I shouldn’t have been surprised that, although all the experts were acknowledging the importance of “lived experience” in shaping a better world, no one is actually looking for us. And even though we are here (RIGHT HERE!!!!), they don’t know really how to start.

That’s why I’m here. I mean, if my blog doesn’t nothing at all, I can at least know my story is out on the open. Take it, leave it, cut and copy and paste whatever parts of me that you find useful. Even if I’m gone written the sun rises tomorrow, here I am.

And, in the event someone comes along and says, “Hey, you look like you have some of the right lived experience I am looking for. Please join me in shaping a more just future!” I will be even that much more impressive to tell them that I’m way ahead of the game! I will even probably get a special honor for being responsible for making the process so seamless. They will wonder why it had taken so long to incorporate these lived experiences before!

Anyway, my point is this. Understanding a few crucial things is very important here.

1. I will tell it like it was. It’s like THEY say, the truth hurts. Don’t let that get in the way. Find comfort in that these are lived. Past tense. It can be painful to listen, but I’m okay now. And I’ll be truly healed if I know my story has been heard.
2. I am open to discussing how things could have gone differently. But please keep in mind that I made my choices at the time with the best I could do. Be honest in these discussions, but be respectful.
3. This list is not extensive. To be continued.

I hope to also include the lived experiences of others in my writing. Be aware that this might be done with privacy in mind, meaning changes of certain personal details might be changed to protect the identity of the storyteller. In all stories I share outside of my first hand account, I will work closely with the storyteller to verify the story is accurate and portrays the message they hope the world to receive.